Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
