I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
