i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
