I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize