I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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