I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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