What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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