that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
