I feel like abortions should bother me more
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
