one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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