Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
