Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
