we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
