this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
