Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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