Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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