Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
