Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize