Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
there's paper in my vomit.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
