I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
nutella sex= disaster
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
