Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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