Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
