absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
