Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
