1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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