you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
