Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So apparently I’m into choking now
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