oh god the rape fog is back!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
