If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
