I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
