Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We need a shit load of segways right now
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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