I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
