Your face is a jimmy john
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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