i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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