Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I didn't shave. On purpose
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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