haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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