dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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