I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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