butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
