How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
