Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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