exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
