Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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