So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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