just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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