Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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