You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
