is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
