i barfeds in our rink
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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