I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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