I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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