i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
