please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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