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The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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