Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
my poor anus
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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