I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
