THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
