He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
