i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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