yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
