I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
