her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
